There is no other way to say it than “Life happens.”
I think that’s going to be my new motto.
I like to be in control of a lot of things, some things I’m slack with (you know, cleaning, laundry, cleaning, exercise, cleaning…), but a lot of things I wont. I pride myself on being able to “control” my world and what goes on in it. Of course my life rarely follows my plan, but I try darn hard to keep my timelines.
But for me it feels as if there is always something that creeps up on me and my family. Whatever it might be hides behind a bush and then when we least expect it… KA-BLAM! everything is flipped on it’s head and I break down and crumble. It’s really starting to take it’s toll on me. I get so easily stressed and upset when something is not “in the plan”. I’m realizing now that sometimes you need to just cut yourself some slack and give in to the inner workings of life.
I’ve been so dead set on getting this book of mine through it’s first draft that I’ve chastised myself for not making weekly goals I set out for myself., which leads to telling myself that I’m not going to make it if I can’t stick to goals. Which in turn leads to telling myself that my work stinks. and of course that ends in me telling myself that no one is going to read my stuff so why should I even continue… And why? Because I stumbled a few times?
I have been so set on the end result that I’m not letting myself enjoy the ride. Ross Gale wrote a wonderful post today called “Revel in the Process and you’re more likely to make it to the finishing line“. He talks about how we should learn to appreciate the “now” with our crafts, and not so much of the end result. Please take a couple of minutes to read it, I’m sur eit will inspire you as it has me.
Lately the end result is all I’ve been able to focus on. Finished book. Finished book. Finished book. It’s incredibly intimidating when you think about it. Keeping your eye on the prize, but not concentrating on the getting there. I find its been throwing me off my game, and I don’t enjoy that.
Yesterday I wrote about a thousand words. Last week I was angry at myself at one point for ONLY writing a thousand words. But instead of continuing down that road I decided to celebrate my word count and you know what… It felt nice.
Go me! I cheered on the inside. You rock Amanda!
Not everyone can write a thousand words in on sitting. Most of the time I need a break or something in between. But I managed to write these words all in one shot. My mind and fingers were in the zone and were working together and next thing I knew, BOOM. A thousand words. All of which I loved and wouldn’t consider filler. Made my day.
I’m hoping for a repeat of yesterday, continuing from where I left off. But whatever happens, happens. A hundred words, a thousand words, five words. I will just make sure to revel in my moment and enjoy each word as it comes to me.
Do any of you find yourself focused on the end results more than the road it takes to get there? How do you step away from that mindset?