Life Happens

Point finale.

There is no other way to say it than “Life happens.”

I think that’s going to be my new motto.

I like to be in control of a lot of things, some things I’m slack with (you know, cleaning, laundry, cleaning, exercise, cleaning…), but a lot of things I wont. I pride myself on being able to “control” my world and what goes on in it. Of course my life rarely follows my plan, but I try darn hard to keep my timelines.

But for me it feels as if there is always something that creeps up on me and my family. Whatever it might be hides behind a bush and then when we least expect it… KA-BLAM! everything is flipped on it’s head and I break down and crumble. It’s really starting to take it’s toll on me. I get so easily stressed and upset when something is not “in the plan”. I’m realizing now that sometimes you need to just cut yourself some slack and give in to the inner workings of life.

I’ve been so dead set on getting this book of mine through it’s first draft that I’ve chastised myself for not making weekly goals I set out for myself., which leads to telling myself that I’m not going to make it if I can’t stick to goals. Which in turn leads to telling myself that my work stinks. and of course that ends in me telling myself that no one is going to read my stuff so why should I even continue… And why? Because I stumbled a few times?

I have been so set on the end result that I’m not letting myself enjoy the ride. Ross Gale wrote a wonderful post today called “Revel in the Process and you’re more likely to make it to the finishing line“. He talks about how we should learn to appreciate the “now” with our crafts, and not so much of the end result. Please take a couple of minutes to read it, I’m sur eit will inspire you as it has me.

Lately the end result is all I’ve been able to focus on. Finished book. Finished book. Finished book. It’s incredibly intimidating when you think about it. Keeping your eye on the prize, but not concentrating on the getting there. I find its been throwing me off my game, and I don’t enjoy that.

Yesterday I wrote about a thousand words. Last week I was angry at myself at one point for ONLY writing a thousand words. But instead of continuing down that road I decided to celebrate my word count and you know what… It felt nice.

Go me! I cheered on the inside. You rock Amanda!

Not everyone can write a thousand words in on sitting. Most of the time I need a break or something in between. But I managed to write these words all in one shot. My mind and fingers were in the zone and were working together and next thing I knew, BOOM. A thousand words. All of which I loved and wouldn’t consider filler. Made my day.

I’m hoping for a repeat of yesterday, continuing from where I left off. But whatever happens, happens. A hundred words, a thousand words, five words. I will just make sure to revel in my moment and enjoy each word as it comes to me.

Do any of you find yourself focused on the end results more than the road it takes to get there? How do you step away from that mindset?

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4 thoughts on “Life Happens

  1. I know what you’re talking about. This idea of ‘life happens’ is something my step dad said to me a few months before he passed away. By that point I was always trying to be in control of everything in my life and that’s exactly when everything I had planned fell apart.

    I took me two years to learn that we cannot be in control of the chaos that is life. There will always be a million little moments and occurrences that add up to something bigger, something we have no control over. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes you are not as fast as you want to be at something. I want to finish my novel too and I keep thinking I should be going faster, I should be more organized, who is actually going to read this??? Then, at night when I’m the only one awake, I realize I’m happy just writing, and I don’t think about the future.

    You just have to learn to let go of what you want to happen and that can be so hard. I just feel stuck in the mud a lot and I realize that I’m not stuck. I am in fact moving forward towards something. We always seem to want everything right now. Right this second, but we forget to live in the moment and cherish the things that happen to us daily.

    I encourage you to swim in your novel as long as you can, to really live in that world. Write for you and I know someone will love the end result. Someone will pick up your work and see the paper cuts, sweat, and tears you put into it. You just have to remember to find the balance of the present and the future. That’s how I’m trying to stop worrying about if I will ever finish my own work. Worrying is pointless sometimes.

    Congrats on your thousand words and keep up the good work!

    • Learning to let go is the hardest life lesson for me right now.

      My need to control situations hangs heavy over me and allowing things to slip through my grasp leads to guilt. Another thing that I am trying to move away from. I’m constantly telling my Mr. that we’re the ones who always get dumped on and things always happen to us out of the blue. He learned “life happens” a long time ago and he always brings me back from my rants and reminds me that some things are just out of our control.

      I’m going to be more proactive with living and feeling the moments. Soaking up the greatness that one blip could bring. It’s challenging to say the least.

      The great thing I’m finding right now is that I’m not alone in this journey. There are so many people out there who I can relate to and who can relate to me. It’s heart warming to say the least.

      So thank you very much for all your kind words and encouragement Whitney, I appreciate them so.

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