I spent a good deal of time last night sitting on my couch with my iPad on my lap. This isn’t anything new. Anyone who knows me can attest that I love technology and rarely leave home without my iPad. Last night was different because I wasn’t playing games, I wasn’t checking out Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads or any of the social media sites I frequent. I was sitting there with Pages open and trying to write.
It was harder than I had expected it to be. When I was writing Billow it came easy at the beginning because I knew where I wanted to story to go, I had faith in my words and my characters and I went into the writing process with a clean slate. Now my mind is muddled and I hesitate with my words and I become frustrated. I am not entirely sure why things have changed so much.
I believe that I am putting too much pressure on myself again; that my words have to be great from the get-go. I keep forgetting (or not allowing myself to remember) that I should just write and not care about anything and just let myself go. Letting go is hard. I like to be in control and it’s difficult to release that and –
Sheesh. I complain a lot, don’t I? If I spent less time complaining and more time just doing maybe I would get back into the swing of things. That being said I am making a commitment to relax on the complaining. I have to listen to people complain all day at work. About their jobs, people they deal with, movies they saw, a book they read… and it drives me nuts! And here I am doing the same but to all of you. It must stop.
Writing and creating are passions of mine and I refuse to complain about them. Complaining leads to doubt and fears and then I shut down and stop. No more I tell you! I must have faith and confidence in my crafts. this happened with my baking. Then it happened with my Etsy store. Now it’s slowly starting to happen with my writing. Once I started to lose my grips on my passions I lost steam. I need to regain that, and I think that the only way to do so is to jump back on the horse and start creating again.
I am making a decision right now to try to at least do each of these things once a week in order to bring back my passions. Bake something once a week. Create a shoe clip or hair piece or wine glass once a week. Write something once a week. And to make sure that I keep it up I will be posting updates about all those things (hopefully) a few times a week.
It’s time to take control of things again my lovelies!